In 1868, the American literary landscape was rocked by the release of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women, proving once and for all that women’s stories can be just as boring as men’s. A revolutionary portrait into the lives of four gnashing harpies and the betas that loved them, Alcott’s work has stood the test of time: beloved by some, tolerated by all.

Today, we heave this conveniently-public domain property into 2025, via the only method that could possibly improve this classic work: gamification.

In this newsletter, we will be rewriting Little Women, page-by-page, adhering as best we can to the original text, save for one wrinkle:

YOU will choose who dies.